In her amazing book The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober, Catherine Gray writes about the Dread Pit she felt while actively drinking— “an unnamed pit of dread that sat in my stomach…dread that I was destined to stay stuck…”
I remember this feeling all too well. It was an underlying sense that something was slipping through my fingers, but I couldn’t quite figure out what. It was a feeling that something else existed in the world that was just outside of my awareness. I was missing it and I needed it, but I couldn’t find it.
The only thing I could do to make this feeling go away was to drink some more – gulp some more wine, go to more bars, find someone willing to coast with me for a few hours.
It was a temporary salve to the dull ache of doom. As Gray says, “[the Dread Pit] was subdued somewhat when I poured wine on it; but when I awoke the next morning the dread was bigger. Blacker. Thirstier.”
You know the saying, Tomorrow is a new day? When you’re drinking more than you want to, each “new day” is a fresh wound you have to triage. You end up in a constant state of starting over, like walking the wrong way up an escalator. Sunrise is like getting a final notice for a bill you know you can’t pay.
But I promise you: There is better way of living. And you can live it.
There is a way to gain control over alcohol and stop the repeating loop of shame and regret.
It's been four years since I began the process of divorcing myself from alcohol. Now, I welcome the sunrise. Even when I am in the doldrum-dumps, I feel like there are possibilities.
Each “new day” builds on the previous. Each new day is ripe with the potential for joy and growth.
If you are curious what life might look like if you were drinking less, contact me for a free 30-minute discovery call.
I CAN HELP YOU REGAIN POWER OVER DRINKING.
I cannot do the hard work for you, but if you are serious about change and personal growth, I will offer tools and support. Together we will get curious about what's driving your behavior and how to reclaim your personal power!