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“Are you becoming the type of person you want to become?”*
Too often we approach self-improvement with the intention of achieving some outward goal. (I want to lose weight; I want to stop drinking; etc)
This method of reaching for something ‘out there,’ a goal outside of ourselves, creates a situation where we must use willpower to change
“Are you becoming the type of person you want to become?”*
Too often we approach self-improvement with the intention of achieving some outward goal. (I want to lose weight; I want to stop drinking; etc)
This method of reaching for something ‘out there,’ a goal outside of ourselves, creates a situation where we must use willpower to change our habits or daily actions in order to reach the goal. For example, we will ourselves to order the salad, go to the gym, work more hours, sign up for a class, refuse the 5pm cocktail. But willpower takes A LOT of energy. And this kind of energy is finite… it will eventually run out!
I’ve decided I hate this term, FAILURE.
I think I probably considered myself a FAILURE for most of my early adult life. Like, not in every way, but as a whole, I pretty much felt like I was failing at life…and most of this had something (everything?) to do with drinking.
You know, it’s funny, because ‘on paper,’ as they say, it would have
I’ve decided I hate this term, FAILURE.
I think I probably considered myself a FAILURE for most of my early adult life. Like, not in every way, but as a whole, I pretty much felt like I was failing at life…and most of this had something (everything?) to do with drinking.
You know, it’s funny, because ‘on paper,’ as they say, it would have appeared that I was doing just fine: I graduated from college, got a nice salaried job as an engineer, got married, went to graduate school, had lots of friends, and went on vacations.
Yet during all that time, over all those years of seeming to check the boxes on expectations of adulting, I was in a constant cycle of self-destruction and self-flagellation.
Anger, guilt, sadness, shame. Resentment, awkwardness, irritation, annoyance.
When I quit drinking over five and a half years ago, I discovered two big things about my emotions:
1) Alcohol hadn’t just been dulling the negative emotions, but the positive ones as well.
2) Those so-called ‘bad’ feelings were actually there for a reason—they had been trying to tell me something!
I love it when I ‘believe’ things or ‘know’ them to be true in my guts and then find out that science is busy proving the same thing. Choosing to live an alcohol-free life is definitely one of those things. Once I began to learn the science of the brain and addiction, it is next to impossible for me to act in opposition to it.
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